lent09

I remember reading a book entitled, ‘The Hard sayings of Jesus’ – one of which was the challenge Jesus put to would-be followers, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me’ (Mark 8 v. 34).

You see, it’s that tough expression, ‘deny himself’ which sticks in the gullet. Other translations smooth it down a bit, ‘If anyone wants to come with me, he must forget self…’(Good News Bible); ‘he must give up all right to himself’ (J. B. Phillips) and rather graphically, ‘anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead – you’re not in the driver’s seat, I am!’ (The Message).

Well, I guess, Jesus isn’t saying that unless you take the classic, three-fold vows of chastity, poverty and obedience you can’t be a follower of mine. If so, and assuming a universal conversion the human race would eventually peter out, which some cynics might think not a bad thing! OK this may be God’s will for some, but surely not for all.

At this point we need, in my opinion, to consider the intrinsic value of human self-hood. Religious people in their genuine passion for spiritual perfection make, what seem at times, extremely absolutist claims for complete consecration and the total death of self. You can pick it up in much Christian hymnary:

Take my life and let it be….. Take my silver and my gold, Not a mite would I withhold

Grant me now my supplication None of self, and all of thee.

All for Jesus – All for Jesus, This our song shall ever be

When we lustily sing such sentiments do we really mean them, or do see them as a shining ideal for which we should try and aim ? Without doubting for a moment the sincerity of these writers, there have been precious few individuals in Christian history who have followed so self-less a road – St. Francis of Assissi possibly being one.

The basic question is, how self-less, self-denying should or could one be ? Psychologists have their own take on this one. People in ‘self-denial’ is they claim, one of the most common root causes of much mental illness and emotional distress. We have to learn to live with ourselves, come to terms with ourselves, and as one ancient philosophers said the secret of personal happiness is ‘to know thyself’. Undeniably self-preservation, like sex, is one of the major ‘drives’ of the human species. I certainly once thought so when chased by a crowd of feisty cows – I never took a five-barred gate so quickly in spite of being somewhat over-weight.

Whatever the circumstances, we cannot in reality totally detach self from ourselves. There is a true and healthy self-hood. Did not Jesus say, on another occasion, ‘Love God with all your being and your neighbour, as yourselves’(Matthew 22 v. 38)? Again to an idealistic, wealthy young man who having kept all the ten commandments asked Jesus how he could attain God’s greatest blessing, Jesus replied, in effect that he should give away all his wealth to the poor (Luke 18). It wasn’t this man’s love of self that stood in his way, but the love of his material possessions. Now Zacchaeus was wealthy and dishonest with it, but Jesus didn’t challenge his wealth, instead he befriended a man whom most people hated. (Luke 19) On another occasion Jesus urged would-be disciples, first to count the cost before making hasty decisions. (Luke 14).

Surely the bottom line in this matter of self-denial is the neccessity for people to break out of the imprisoning wall of self-centredness where personal interests of wealth, pleasure, success, popularity and so on have the upper hand. There is a proper self-consciousness, self-respect and even self-love which are based not upon greed and gain but upon grace and gratitude. Some aspects of our self-hood must be abandoned, whilst other must be developed and Jesus’ further comment about taking up our cross is significant. It is, be noted a taking up and not a putting down – a willingness by faith and obedience, not to renounce self but to submit with our whole selves to the Fathers’s will and love.

A Lenten Meditation